Thursday, August 25, 2011

Tired and Achy

Yeah I don’t even know if Achy is a word but man that is how I am feeling, achy. It isn’t like a hurt but it isn’t like anything else, it is like I just ache. I am hoping that people are right and that it is because I am walking but who know, I don’t.

I am starting to think that it is the depression and the anxiety; we have all heard that commercial… “Depression hurts” and while I know that to be true I am thinking that the depression paired with anxiety, which keeps me tense when it starts to go have an issue with it. So I am not sure. This is what I realized though. It is hard with the ups and downs of grieving to know how you are really doing. I have found out that I am far stronger than I give myself credit for. However, there are certain times when I just want to sit down in the middle of the road and stay there till my head clears. However, it still will take huge pushing from friends to get me to stop long enough to take something for a headache. This is a journey that we are on, each and every day is new and we don’t know what to expect. As life gets thrown at us it is just being in the midst of a boxing ring that we can’t get out of. We know that things are heading our way but we can’t get out of the way or dodge it. There are the surprise punches and then the ones that hurt far worse than we can imagine.

I am thankful for my friends who have been encouraging me even when I don’t feel like I deserve it. I pray that I am a friend who is there for others.

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