Monday, August 8, 2011

1st day of school…

REALLY, the 1st day of REAL school, Kindergarten!

Aden was so excited; there wasn’t a thing that I could do to show how proud I am. For me there aren’t many tears associated with him going to school, mostly because he was so so so excited. It is what I am here for. I am his mom meant and assigned to equip him, so I am honored. When did he get so BIG and so HANDSOME? He is amazing

The 1st day of school however, has a lot of pain associated with it as well. This time last year Zach was doing remarkable well, he was showing us how much of a fighter he was. That there might be a chance that mito wouldn’t totally change his life, just alter the path. I never would have imagined that the things that he did then would be the only time, he got to ride the bus to school. He got to go to school. He had the best teachers, the lead teacher LOVED him and she was wonderful. He was riding the bus, starting to really talk, eating (granted only special chips), and drinking (only powerade but still). I never would have imagined then that we would never get to do it again. That the excitement and the wonderfulness that was there during that time would never get to do it again, if we had only bottled it up.

This school stuff has been hard for me this year, it took me weeks to get things together for Aden for school this year, the truth is that I didn’t get it done. I had more breakdowns shopping for school stuff than I think anything to date. For me it was hard to go shopping for many reasons. Zach was my shopping partner, we would always go to the store together, he would accompany me to get anything we needed, sometimes it was the only thing we got to do since it took so much out of him but he got to be part of the family, shopping for all the things we all needed. Last year I bought Aden school supplies. Last year I bought Zach school supplies and I bought him uniforms (since he was in school). This year I didn’t get to do that with Zach, I didn’t get to buy him uniforms or supplies. I realized now after seeing Aden’s list that Zach’s supplies were far different for Zach I had to buy him pull ups for school, however, Zach was so tiny that he didn’t fit pull ups so I had to get diapers. You know that saying that you won’t send your child to school in diapers, well, I sent Zach in diapers. I sent him to school, to big school, on the real bus in diapers. However, he loved it and asked to go to school EVERY day. Shopping is still raw and different. There is no way to explain the emotions that swirl around with the normal activities that you do as a family.

Today I have a challenge, don’t take the little things for granted!!! I am learning now that all the little things that I do with Aden matter. I didn’t realize that till I lost all of the little things with Zach. Try today to think about all the things that you would do differently if you didn’t have your family. Then love them that much more, cause once they are gone, you can’t go back and do it again.

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