The journey of life has only begun, there isn’t a road map or a listing of when we are going to be where and I am learning this is very true of emotions. Sometimes things happen and I am amazed, such a typical thing but such an aggravating thing other times it is an item that shakes you to the core.
I spent a good amount of time last night talking to a friend… She is a friend that God brought to me and I think of her often. She has two children who are her love but are also the reason why we walk so closely together. She isn’t done with her journey; they are still working with knowing how things are working, if things are working and all of the medicalness of loving your children. Most people are blessed to not experience that we are blessed to be part of it. I have several people in my life that I love to chat with she is one of them, late night conversations and assurance that God is with her and in return that God is with me.
TO all the moms and dads who are walking in the medicalness of your children I would like to tell you something…
• Love yourself, I know it is hectic, crazy, strapped for time and money and all of that However, take a moment to remember that you were here before the circumstances. I never learned this and am struggling now with it. If I had loved myself through all this though, I would be coping a tad better than I am now.
• Love your family the way it is… you don’t have to grieve what everyone has. Your family is special and no one can understand the way that it is put together. I can look back and see that through all of this our love is strong because we choose to love on each other and not let it tear us apart.
• You will make it through this… entire will you do it without regrets is up to you. Do you want to walk through it doing all that you can or do you want to do the bare minimal because it is easier, you rest more when you aren’t invested as much. The tears of pain and heartache will turn into love and joy and honor.
• Celebrate the little things… being together, getting to do something that you call can do, reading a book, changing clothes, going to the bathroom, etc. There is so many things that can easily be missed. I never knew that watching Aden run would be such an inspiration to me. A simple action that everyone takes for granted but that Zach couldn’t do. When asked in Rehab what he wanted to do (we didn’t expect an answer) without hesitation he looked straight at the PT and said RUN. Simple desires, heartfelt desires.
• There are people that understand and want to help, they might know how or want to bother but there are people wanting to walk with you. I never understood this as much as I do know. I have a friend whom I love dearly who while Zach was sick took a step back, she didn’t know what to say or do, it never hit her that I needed her close, I never let her in that I needed her. If I had told her, If I had sucked it up and admitted that I didn’t want to go through this journey I would have had her for this WHOLE journey just not the aftermath, I wouldn’t have robbed her of all the good times, all the celebrations that no one gets. So all this to say… let your friends in, let them love on you, let them help you, let them simply be there if that is all you can get out. Your friend love you and will hold you and support you let them
I am sure there are more things spinning in there. Hang in there, don’t give up hope, it is worth it and while you might think you are struggling… If you hear nothing else, if you don't get anything else get this... YOU ARE WORTH IT!!