Saturday, September 17, 2011


I have been trying since early this morning to figure out what to write, the thoughts aren’t here this morning. I have so many random thoughts so I am going to write a few, My hopes are that someone somewhere needs to hear or know that I am thinking about them or praying for them or going through a situation that is similar to them and that they aren’t alone.

• Things may be different and difficult but there are amazing and awesome things in our life. I can’t imagine Zach without his love and his spirit and his caring. Because of his spirit, we are blessed with an ALMOST 6 year old that is by far the most amazing child I know. We have struggling with him but I know that he will always be a friend, that he is flexible and that he cares. He knows what it is like to hurt and he knows what it is like to love and lost.

• Friends, those that truly matter, don’t have to know everything that is going on they have to be able to be invited in. In saying this I have several friends that are no where close to me in distance but we talk daily, we know when something is wrong, and we pray for each other. I can’t imagine my life without them.

• No matter the situation that you are going through life still happens. I am overwhelmed somewhat because while I am trying to grieve and learn to live again with my new role. Life goes on… people get sick, jobs have to be done, friends that need you, illnesses happen, problems occur. You can’t just stop and hit a pause button. Man I so wish there was a pause button.

• After you go through a situation (no matter what it is) that is important and shocking to you then you begin to question and wonder what your purpose it. If you are here for a reason, if your situations matter to you then there is no better or worse. You can’t say… what you are going through is so much worse than what I am. Truth is (and I struggle with this) is that in order for others to help they have to know. You can’t hide your issues in the deep dark part of the corner and then expect others to help you. You have to be willing to be open and transparent. That doesn’t mean that you go around and tell everyone that means that you find those that God leads to you, those that are safe and let them in on what is going on.

I have to say, things are hard, some days are far worse than others but I am not the only one walking through this life wondering how in the world I am going to make it another sec. I have firmly believed that the saying hour by hour wasn’t coined for me, for me it is literally still sec by sec. Am I proud of that? No, I would love to be further along but truth is that I am not. Life still hurts, situations still floor me and I am still walking in the path that God has placed before me. I am just His daughter striving to do all the things that God has placed forth to me. I am not alone, I am not perfect, I am not!!!

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