feelings

The pass couple of days the words have been extremely hard to come by… I am not sure why, I don’t know if I am hurting that bad, if I am that sad, or if I just can’t express it. It could be all three; actually that is what I am betting on.


This week, Aden had a rough week at school. He loves it but he has his momma in him and he loves to talk. He has his momma in him and he loves to climb and jump off even if it is in the wrong places. He is like his momma and sometimes just doesn’t want to do anything. It leaves me wondering what to do, how to treat it?

So whatever the case may be this week has been a challenge on all roads. It has been rough dealing with Aden and his actions (which are typical behaviors) and then rough dealing with me and all the emotions that I am realizing are there. Sometimes it is much easier to push the feelings to the back and to hide them, the problem with that is that when they do finally surface it isn’t easy to handle at all. The other problem with pushing them back and hiding them, not dealing with them at the moment there is a chance that when they do boil over to the surface, or explode to the surface it is harder to express why the emotions are there. So while I am struggling horribly with words anyway if I have pushed emotions to the back, which I have, then now that they are popping up I can’t express why they are there. I struggle to communicate and to express, which is hard and leaves me wondering, how do I know that I am really feeling this way if I can’t tell them (anyone) how I am feeling or why? It is just hard