I want to a second to talk about emotions…They are the things that you feel that either define you or make you. They don’t have to be reality, they don’t have to be rational, the thing is that in your brain they are there, they are how you are dealing and coping. Most of us if we are honest have emotions that we are thankful that NO ONE else knows about.
I was recently asked to take a piece of paper and write down all the emotions, feelings that I have been having. It is different, I journal and I blog but to just think about the emotions I hadn’t done. It is hard because those emotions are spinning faster than I can express around in my head. Emotions are such that we can fake it; we can walk one way but feel a totally different way. The Emotions and feelings are shaped by what we do, what we think and who we think we are.
Just a few emotions: Hurt, pain, confusion, embarrassment, feeling ashamed, lost, incapable, unworthy, cloudy, unclear, a bother, a burden, feeling silly, feeling like a failure, isolation, guilty, relief, sad, ok.
What about the other feelings? Sad, like you are not being understood, being looked at, having expectations laid on you, unsure of what to do next, unsure that you are worthy or good enough to continue to do things, Angry at everyone and everything, disbelief.
We all have them, not all of these are in my brain but ones that I know others have expressed to me. Some of the emotions are fleeting, we know that they are just there to confuse us but we know who we are. Then there are others that we work through and have to relearn the truth. Some of us are able to hide them and some people are so transparent that when you think of them you know that is an emotion or feeling that they have. Now I have learned that God has called me to be real, transparent, and honest. This means somehow the emotions and feelings that are in my head have to be able to be told to others. In Luke, we are told that even Jesus went outside and wept bitterly. If Jesus wept, then I am thinking that means that I can to, that we can too. I am praying that I can be the friend that others use to come to and to help express. See not everyone needs to know what goes on in our head. We should have safe people. Those people that we can share and not worry about, where you don’t have to worry about the emotions and the feelings that you have are being judged, they are simply listened to. I pray that I am one of those safe people.