Today is the day when I decided to load the van (with the help of a friend) of all the little things that were part of Zachary. All of the things that I needed to keep Zachary. Things that made his life easier, things that I needed to keep him at home, things that I had to have just to keep him alive. I never really realize that it took over, I never saw the tubes. I never saw the pumps. I never saw anything but Zachary. Wow, sitting here just looking at all the stuff makes me wonder HOW did I miss it all. It also makes me wonder if I keep all of it will God just bless me with one more day, well I would take one more hour?
So I am sitting here looking at my other son, my little big man. I wonder how much I missed of his life. He is amazing and wonderful and more than I can imagine. However, for almost 4 years, he took a back seat and was the most flexible thing ever. My love for him is so amazing.
Then I quickly think about this awesome and amazing man, the one who has worked and poured his heart into my boys and me. The one that is at work even now when being at home in bed might be a tad easier. The one that had his heart broken daily as he had to go and leave us. The one that loves us and takes care of us. In case you don’t know I have the most amazing husband ever, he is my all and all and I love him more than I can type right here. Adam has made this journey bearable; he is the one that I adore.
I think of my inlaws who ultimately made the biggest sacrifice, they were on call 24 hours a day every day. It didn’t matter how they felt or if they were asleep when we called they jumped. They didn't have to do this, they CHOSE to do this. They chose to walk each step with us and to love on all of us and to take a stance to be here for us no matter what it caused them. Many talk about how their in-laws are this and that but let me tell you my in-laws are wonderful and I definitely claim them as my own. I love them dearly.
Even with the hard we have a ton of Good, I know how strong my family is, I know how wonderful it is now because of going through this. Would I choose to go through it again? I don’t think so but I wouldn’t choose to change any of it either. Know that family is God given and so important, they are here to help you have a more enriched life.
My challenge for today if I can leave you with one is to tell your family that you love them!