Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Why is it that when something isn’t quite going right everything else messes up too?

I have been trying to finish up Christmas things; I need to shop, finishing making plans together with family, wrap things.  For me I still need to do Christmas cards, it is just so hard looking at that picture knowing that part of our family isn’t here with us this year.  Makes me wonder if they celebrate Christmas in Heaven, I mean think about it, if in Heaven we are continuously praising God, do they take the time out to celebrate Jesus’ birth.  I wonder if they have an AWESOME spread of food and they enjoy it all day long.  I wonder what Zach’s favorite food would be if he could eat it all.  Would he like the bacon the best still or will he love a few of the others and come with a new best.  Are there different foods there?  What are the new traditions that he has, I mean I know he is with my mom so that is new for him, but what else is Zach doing? Is he helping decorate Heaven?  Okay I know that I have lost it. 

I wanted to come home from lunch today and make some ornaments, I was thinking about doing salt dough ones, I am worried that loved ones are going to get too many ornaments and they are going to be overwhelmed.  However, before I really think about it too long or hard, I realized that Aden has an appt this afternoon which means that doing a project today is off.  Maybe tomorrow, I guess we need more of a project than making sure all the trash makes it to the curb (you know we need all the trash room we can get since Christmas is coming up).  However with the rain and the tears I think that sitting and staring into the tree is what I am going to do.

I have no idea what I am doing or how I am doing it, all I pray is that I am a good friend and that I make it through the next week or so.  My heart hurts and all the little things going wrong feel like daggers. 

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