I have had this opened for a while; it Is like every word that I had left my body as we celebrated the birth of my Savior. I still feel like there is nothing that I can write at this point that anyone would want to read. The 1st thing that I want to do with this post is to recap a little about our wonderful Christmas.
Christmas Eve we started a new tradition… Adam, Aden and I went to candlelight service, this isn’t new to us. But it is the 1st year that Aden went with us and actually understood what was going on. He stood and sung with us, then he sat down with us and while the pastor was speaking Aden snuggled up to daddy and went to sleep. It was by far the most comforting thing. If you can’t sleep at church as a child what can you do? He slept through the communion and it was heartwarming to know that he is that comfortable at church that he sung and worshipped with us but also went to sleep. After communion, service, and singing we left and went to Adam’s parents. We went to our 2nd home, when we got there, we found out that Adam’s brother was there and we were able to all sit down together for Christmas Eve Dinner. This is our new tradition (or at least one of many we hope) to go to The Moody’s house and enjoy dinner together we enjoyed a dinner of Roast, Rice, and Okra after we ate we read the “a tale of 3 trees” and “The Crippled Lamb). After we visited for a while we headed home and turned in for the night.
Christmas morning came and Adam and I watched Aden opened his Santa presents; we made sausage cheese balls and pigs in the blankets. We got things ready for the moody’s to come over. Once again we were surrounded by our whole family again. We had all the moody’s over and we had an AMAZING time opening some gifts, before we knew it, we got ready for Church. All the males had new clothes to wear, Mom had an outfit she got for her retirement and I wore a dress for a benefit that we were part of. I was singing with praise team and took a second to just thing that this wasn’t just any Sunday this was Christmas Morning. So we were ALL dressed up, I mean really dressed up. I am glad though, I was totally honored to be going to church on Christmas Morning. We came back did lunch finished opening presents and went to Adam’s family for Christmas Dinner. We had a great time.
The day after Christmas we got up went to breakfast with the Moody’s and headed out to Zach’s grave, this was something that we wanted to do Christmas but with how bad it was raining and how cold it was, we decided as a family to wait till the next day. We got there and it was still really COLD but it wasn’t raining, we were able to stand outside at least. I put the new flowers at the grave: silver and white poinsettias with a copper butterfly. Mamaw got a plaque that we placed at the grave and we placed heart shaped tea lights at the grave as well. At that point we prayed for a bit, hugged and cried and went on with our day. We know that Zach isn’t there; we know that he is playing in heaven enjoying all the things that he couldn’t do here on earth. We went to my Aunts house and got to have almost all of my family in one place at one table… My Aunt Peggy, Uncle Joe, Michael, Steph, Aunt Diane, Aden, Adam and Myself. We had a dinner we enjoyed Steak and potatoes together and talking. We played games, went on tractor rides, shot things out of the air gun. We had a great time, honored to get to do things together as a family. Thankful that we got to get together and that we get along well enough.
His 4th birthday, The 1st day of school, Birthdays of his Papaw, Dad, Mom, Brother and Mamaw, Thanksgiving and now Christmas… those are just the dates that I remember. Christmas is one of the BIGGEST family holidays for us… I can honestly say that we love our family, that our family loves each other. So how did Christmas really go? I mean I know that you are wondering how we made it? If we cried? Screamed? Or what. So the honest truth is that it was different, good but different. We missed Zach, I know that I missed Zach; I missed his hug, his love and his joy. He knew how to be happy with all that he had and even more happy with what he didn’t have. We had our sad moments, the moments that we all cried. I know that we were a little clueless; however, I can honestly say that God picked us up and protected us. We had a couple of friends that blessed us with either shipping items to us, sending a gift card, or just encouraging me by sending money. One person sent me a check which was the reason Christmas Cards got sent, with all going on, I was having trouble with it all. I mean a Christmas card with 3 people just doesn’t feel right but I believe that the ones that got sent out where beautiful. She told me that it would all be okay, no matter what I decided, that it would all be okay. I believe that we are going to be trying to figuring out what our normal is for a while but I am thankful that Zach is safe and wonderful. What would I do for another hug and to hear his voice? A lot but I don't wish him being Sick and being here on Earth. I hope Zach is looking down, smiling at me and saving me a bunch of hugs.