After a message to a friend yesterday I received some information that has made my heart rest a bit…
I had one friend that let me know that it isn’t just me that is overwhelmed; I don’t mean that rudely, she wasn’t rude but we were having more of a conversation about all the things going on. I don’t know a single person, married or single, with a child or without, working or not working, sick child or not…who isn’t overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed this season seems to be touching EVERYONE. It isn’t like it is just me, which I have to say made me feel 100% better about it. It is nice to know that people are so busy, so hectic, have so much to do that across the board people are having difficulty with feeling overwhelmed. I hate feeling that way but I know that the Christmas season is hectic anyway!
The other thing that has helped me tremendously is that I had a friend write something to let me know that they were praying for me and for all the pain of this season. Everyone talking about Jesus’ birth, after all for a Christian it is the most important thing. However, she took a sec to remind me that this isn’t just a season about Jesus but about what He did and about who was impacted. The comfort that is in my heart now is amazing. Mary had Jesus. Can you imagine her heart? She knew that she had never touched Joseph and yet she was pregnant. She knew that Joseph could disown her and that the one that she loved could say no, he didn’t accept her anymore. I am sure that she was nervous about traveling and about seeing people. Could you imagine what people were talking about and what they were saying?
Then there is also the story that helped soothe my soul, Mary and Joseph raised Jesus. They loved Him, they clothed Him, they even lost Him (They left Him in the temple and can come back to get Him, they found Jesus talking to the priest). I am sure that they worried about Him getting hurt and about all the things that parents worry about. Jesus was perfect but I am sure that Mary worried over Him, I am sure that He got sick. She saw Him suffer and she saw her son die. This is something I had never thought about. We often say at our church that you can’t celebrate Jesus’ birth without realizing that with that birth came Jesus’ death as well. He came to earth knowing that that He would die. I was reminded that Mary had to celebrate Jesus’ birth and His death as well. She was a mom hurting because she poured her life into her son.
I know that it is something totally different than us and Zach but it helps soothe me a little to know that I am not the only one that hurts because I had my son die. See I know that I didn’t lose Zach, I know where he is, he isn’t with me, I didn’t leave him somewhere , He is with God enjoying all the awesome things of Heaven. See I know that this season is like no others, I am struggling to make it work and to help all the pain that is in my heart. Even with knowing that Zach is in heaven and that he isn’t hurting or suffering anymore, I still miss him and this is still hard. However, I am reminded it is all okay! I will be okay! I wouldn’t not have all the experiences I feel pretty blessed.