Thursday, December 22, 2011

Thursday night

The one night that we don’t have plans… 2 days till Christmas!!! Really 2 days, that is it!!! WOW, time has flown by, it hasn’t all been easy but it is something that I can honestly say was different than I expected.  How can time stand still but be racing by at the same time?

Today I did something that I have never done before I drove 45 mins to a store to let Aden play with friends and to have a moment where I got to converse, oh forget it we chit chatted, with friends.  It is the 1st time since Zach died that I have done something with Aden and other little ones.  It was nice to know that the friends that Aden developed and the ones that I developed that they didn’t all go away.  Aden had a blast running around and being with other children, this seems to be a common thread.  That we are able to sit and chat, honestly about nothing, to just have a time where children can be just that and we can all have a good time.  It was tiring but fine.

Then I came home to a letter, one that I had been expecting but until I opened it and read the words, I didn’t realize what God was doing.  This letter had some money for us to do the things that we needed to for Christmas, so with it I went and printed out 65 Christmas cards.  Okay let me stop at Christmas Cards for a moment… I did 65 cards and that just includes Family and Church, that is no pumpkin mommas or anything so I guess I have to go get more printed, I didn’t realize that 65 wouldn’t be enough.  No idea if they will get to people before Christmas or not but because of this letter Christmas Cards got done.  Okay back to the card, I have to say that I have some of the sweetest people that care about us.  It is hard because it has been 6 months, many have forgotten all the things that have gone on or are happening.  They are no longer calling, emailing, stopping by or anything so to get this letter and to realize that a church many miles away is still praying for and thinking of us means more than I can type.  Thank you for the cards and for the Christmas morning and dinner groceries, it means a lot to me and I deeply appreciate it.  Oh and by the way, I will make a trip to starbucks and I will think of you!

So am I ready for Christmas NO, I am not! However, I realize that I am not going to get everything done and there is no way to get it all done.  There are many more cards to be written, clothes to be bought, presents to be bought and wrapped, much to be cooked and cleaned and places to go.  However, my Brain is tired out.. I miss some of the things from last year; I miss some of the people, some of the groups.  However there is still candle light service, Christmas breakfast, visiting Zach’s grave, being with family, going to church and singing and going to be with family.  The Christmas Season is busy and for a night that we have nothing planned and that the weather is bad what to do we do… promptly make plans to go eat Chinese and to spend some time just the 3 of us.  To come home and to rest in knowing that throughout all the hustle and bustle, all the hurt and pain, all the fun and laughter, God is still in control, this is still about a baby that was born to a virgin mom, who died on the cross taking all my sins, and that was raised from the dead on the 3rd day.  It is still all about a mom who watched her son be punished for something that He didn’t commit.  It is still all about family and love, May you know how important you are!

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