Almost anyone that knows me knows that I love to sing… I won’t pretend to have a great voice, I won’t pretend to have a voice that others want to hear, but I love to sing. Over a year ago I had to step down from praise team, not because someone made me but because Zach was getting to the point where I couldn’t confirm that I could be there. So I stepped down, I felt like it was the right thing to do. Well 4 months ago when Zach passed away, I was able to attend church again. It was hard; to be honest it is still hard sometimes. I have been asked by several when I was stepping back on the stage again. I always laughed it off and say “give it time, not right now” Well after some praying hard and some reassurance that I will be okay, I got in touch with our music minister and asked if I could come back, his answer was, we have practice tonight can you make it. Not exactly the answer that I was expecting. So last night I went to practice, it was HARD, I felt like it was another FINALITY that Zach was in heaven and not coming back. I sung several songs that I don’t know but I did okay. I can honestly say that I MISSED singing. I am so honored to get to sing again.
I have to say that in my worshipping last night it brought several people in my mind… friends that are going through times that I don’t’ understand. I have a friend who had her dad die, when he died her chance to develop a real relationship with him vanished. I have a friend who has a child, that medically things are going wrong, her son is going to have surgery Monday, they found out yesterday. I have a friend whose husband is gone for a month, while thankful that he is in the US and not oversees this time, it is still hard. A friend whose mom is in ICU fighting for her life and the family is making hard decisions. A friend who hasn’t had a job in a while was just blessed with new job. A friend whose Son is in the ICU and they had to perform CPR to keep him here on earth this morning. A friend who called me upset because they feel like they have done something so horrible that I will hate them (WHICH WAS A LIE, I love you). A friend who lost a parent and feels like they are now alone and incapable of doing the things that they need to do, a friend who had her husband walk out on her, A friend who keeps getting told that things are wrong with their child medically but that they can’t figure out what is going on or how to help. A friend who is in a marriage that needs to be healed, a friend who is going through a divorce that no one understands. A friend who is overwhelmed, thinks that she is alone, whose thoughts are racing, and who can’t see past the sec she is in.
Here is my thought for you, my prayer for you…
May you know that you are worth it, that you are an AWESOME person, AWESOME mom, AWESOME Wife, AWESOME friend. You are NEVER alone; you don’t have to do this alone. God is with you and you have friends that will be by your side. God tells us that all works towards His great plan, it doesn’t promise us that it will be easier or that we will understand but He does promise that He will never leave nor forsake us. Hang in there and know that I am ALWAYS here