Wednesday, October 19, 2011

As I am typing

As I am typing this… there are parents that are in the ICU room hearing that their child might not make it two weeks. While I am writing this there are parents that are making the decision to not continue treatments. While I am writing this there are parents that are having to decide that it is better for their precious love one to die at home. While I am typing this there are parents learning for the 1st time that their child isn’t sick with a common cold but with an illness that will claim their life. While I am typing this there are parents who are hurting with how to tell a sibling that their brother/sister isn’t coming home again. While I am writing parents have to decide what the next course of treatment is and if it is worth trying? While I am typing this there are parents learning that their child’s life expectancy is less than a car or a washing machine.


As I am typing this… There are parents that feel like they can’t tell others what is going on. While I am writing this there are parents that can’t use a word to express how badly they hurt. While I am writing this there are parents who are crying on the inside but can’t express it on the outside. While I am writing this there are parents who are having an emotional breakdown but can’t reach out. While I am writing this there is a parent who decides that the only way to handle this is to kill themselves. While I am writing this there are parents who have so much despair that the next breath is too much. While I am typing this parents are coming to grips that their child will not go to school anymore but have to stay at home. While I am writing this parents are figuring out money and how to go to another state for treatment cause that is the closest place that knows what they are doing. While I am writing this parents are having to decide that moving the whole family is the best thing for that child, that where they are simply isn’t good enough

Why am I writing this? I am reminded that Adam and I are not the only ones who went through the pain and the suffering of a child who was ill. We fought a long time without letting people in; we did it on our own. This isn’t a battle that you should have to fight, it just isn’t. You aren’t alone, It isn’t fair the decisions that you are being asked to make or the things that you have to tell your other children. It isn’t fair that you have to call love ones to prepare them that one more breath might be too much for your child. We knew that God is with us. We know that even know but no one has the words to take the pain away. But I know for so long I tried to fight it alone and I failed miserably at doing it. I became a basket case and I became upset because I couldn’t do anything. I wanted to help, but in reality only knowing that Zach was in God’s hands and that he was taken care of helped.

My point in this is simple.. If you are in this position.. You aren’t alone, you are never alone. I am here (we are here) as much or as little as you want us to be. You do not have to do this alone. You don’t have to feel like you are the only one. If you are blessed enough to not be in one of these situations please pray and make yourselves available. Love on and help those that need you so deeply

2 comments:

  1. Very powerful Jen. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, as painful as it may be sometimes. Thinking about you.
    Heidi & Jack.

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  2. Thank you Heidi, I am thinking of yall

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