Well there isn't much I can say at this moment... Greiving is like the waves of the ocean. They come and go, sometimes they are huge and powerful and other times the waves are soft and shallow. There are times though when those waves are unexpectly powerful and deep. The people on the shores, your family and friends, can't see how powerfully strong they are. They see that the waves are gentle and all is good. They can't feel the undertow of the currents and they can't tell that the ground is soggy and muddy, gross to stand on but also slippery and takes everything out of you to stand upright.
Same is true with life, often the circumstances that we are in flavor what we do or how feel about other things. Sometimes we need friends and family to love on us enough to gentle encourage us to move just a bit, to close our eyes for just a moment taking our focus off of the stuff that is there but to remind us we are still okay and not alone, that there is another voice which comes from outside our head which means we are not alone.
I have to say I am blessed... I know that I am not alone, I struggle with it all but I am not alone. I have friends and family that love me enough to bless me out. For those that dont know what that means that means that they love me enough to say things that could hurt and often do sting in order to help me move on. This week has been one of those weeks, I felt so negiative about everything and so upset beyond words that I could even put together. I had 3 people who let me fuss and complain to them. However after a while they stood up and said this isnt me talking.
See grieve and depression take over, it becomes where it is all you can see but it isn't the end. They were trying to remind me that i can't get so overwhelmed that i forget that I am loved. That there are things that I need to work on and improve on and say but that I am okay. I made it this far, God will not drop me now. That as the waves hit to look up, see the beautiful sunset and sky.