Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I choose...

The days are filled with things…

Happy things, sad things, hopeful things, overwhelming things, things we laugh about, things that we don’t know about!  Things that we can’t wait to happen and things we don’t want to happen. 

Our Lives are filled with people…

People that are hurt, that are sad, that are happy, that are faking it, that are amazing, that are gifts, that are walking a life that no one knows. 

Our Actions are real…

Our actions can hurt, destroy, lift up, encourage, love.


Tonight I was sitting in a room talking about if you ever have had to give something up to God? Have you even had to give up control of something?   My initial response was of course everyone has but then as I sat that I was hit with this overwhelming emotional wave.  Some people have had to give up way more than I could imagine, they have accepted the path that God gave them when they developed cancer.  I know people who gave up jobs, cars, houses and everything worldly to go around the world to teach others to read.  Honestly, I couldn’t do that!

I thought of my mother who daily got up and went to work as a nurse, who wrote medical journals for doctors, who spoke to educate other nurses, who called patients at home during the night to check on them.  I thought of being told after her almost year long battle with Brain Cancer about she would work late so those with small children could go home and be with them.  I was older and understood the whole working thing, but their children where babies, toddlers and younger children.  Family meant everything to her.  She gave her heart to being a nurse that was what she was designed to do. 

I thought about mito week, not just because of mito but I thought about all those who have an illness that is invisible.  Those that have Mitochondrial disease, Diabetes, Lupus, Arthritis, Psoriatic Arthritis, Irritable Bowel Disease just to name a handful.  Is there a purpose?  So I am back where I started. 

Our days are filled with things, Our lives are full of people, Our Actions matter!  During the time that my mother was so ill I had people that pulled up beside us and helped us, no one seem to waiver or doubt if I needed them there.  They simply were.  During Zachary’s life people came and went, some deciding they couldn’t handle it and some saying enough is enough.  But I learned one thing, I am still trying to get it right, but I learned… My Days are filled with THINGS, My Life is full of PEOPLE, and MY actions matter.

Yes you read that my things, my people, and MY actions…. MINE!!!  I have had some days when I have been upset, gloomy and hard to get along with because of the depression and overwhelming emotion.  There have been days when I did say I hate mito!  There are days when I want to go and hide.  There are days when I can say life isn’t fair but ultimately I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have an amazing husband, an amazing son, I have an amazing job where I can be me and have fun, I have amazing friends that will love on me, hug me and let me fuss.  I have smiles, joys and a lot to be thankful for.  My actions… MINE!!!!

So during Mitochondrial awareness week I choose to pray for those affected with the disease, I choose to pray for all those that are dealing with the waves of emotions, I choose to give a hug, I choose to be honest, I choose be real, I choose to forgive, I choose to forget the hurtful actions, I choose to love, I choose to be there for those who might need me.  I choose to build up and to encourage and I choose to be a friend at all times!  

So is this post about just about mito… no it isn’t! It is about what I have learned, I am responsible for only my actions and I know what my heart is designed to do.  I am the only one that can do that.  However, I learned a lot of this going through life with someone I love very dearly having mito, I still fight through my days with people that I love about and care about fighting mito.  You learn a lot when you learn that life isn’t about you.  You learn a lot when you realize that the one that you love is no longer there to walk with you.

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