Friday, March 9, 2012

There are no words

I'm sitting here totally in tears... There is nothing right, fair, or normal about a child dying. While there are Some good things about it like them no longer hurting. The tears aren't slowed, they just pour out. The hurt is so huge so vast that if you think you understand and have never lost a child, you just know the surface not the full pure experience of vastness of the pain. You don't get, it just hurts, effecting who you are, what you see and what you do.

Today a child that I have been following on line went to be with God, I have no words, it hurts so badly. There is nothing to explain the pain that is there. While I don't know this family, I know what we went through and I know what our family and friends went through and so my heart just aches. I know he was 6. I know that his family loves him, I know that he had mito but also something else, I know that he has 3 siblings and I know he will be greatly miss. I know through pictures that mito destroyed his body.

On a day I was already missing my son, on a day I am feeling quite overwhelmed with the emotions and feelings that I cant share with the world, this drops me to my knees.... Zach please hug Brent and let him know his family is here hurting, please know that I am here, your family and friends are here hurting too. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and that I long to have your hug and your smile. Zachary, I will love you today and tomorrow even more than I can express, to infinity and beyond!!!


  1. So very sorry Jen, I know the feeling well. Some kids have passed that I felt very close to and their loss hit me very hard as well. I couldn't function for days. It brought back feelings, memories. Just knowing the pain they are going through and knowing there's nothing I could do but send some words that were just suddenly not enough was so hard. Sometimes it's hard having a big heart. I just can't shut myself from that world though, because it's the only life I know. Hugs and prayers to you and Brent's family.

  2. Hi, I've been praying for Brent also and was broken hearted today at his leaving our earth. You're an angel and I'm sorry you know this pain. God bless and keep you, Christy - Amy's mom