Friday, March 30, 2012

Remembering: friends

A year ago sometime this week; Adam, Aden, Zach and I were on the north side of Atlanta.  We went for a family weekend; it was 2 days, well really an overnight.  We were basically walking distance to the hospital but we weren’t there for the hospital we were there for us.  We took the boys to have a weekend that we thought was just a fun weekend but it was life changing. 

While up there we had a nurse that LOVED Zach and who was Zach’s meet up with us.  Her and her girls were going to keep Zach in the hotel and let us take Aden out.  This was a huge deal, Zach had the lines, oxygen, tubes and we couldn’t just leave him with everyone.  Here was this nurse and her family that loved on Zach and treated him as her own.  She loved him and there was no doubt he was safe.  When they got to the hotel Aden decided I wanted to stay with the girls, this allowed Adam and I to have a very needed night together of dinner and conversation, we didn’t have to worry about getting back to the hospital or if the person caring was getting worried.  He was loved on by the girls and they accepted him as theirs.  They weren’t scared to have him in their laps, to love on them, to run with him and to play with him.  To them Zach was the cute amazing little boy that he was.  One of the girls we knew had a connection with Zach and so we knew even if the older and the younger sister weren’t quite sure we knew that she would be fantastic.  She would lay with him and watch movies and lay in his bed, she wasn’t afraid, her heart was full of love.  My eyes even now fill up with tears.  We knew we could chillax and connect.

That could have been the end of the story… between build a bear, the carousal, the gym and the pool… we had had a time to be remember but that wasn’t it.  See one of the daughters was roughly a year older that Zach (I think I never can remember anything but her smile and beautiful curls) she loved Zach, he was her friend.  I never realized till after this weekend that we worked so hard for his quality of life and for medical things to go well that he didn’t have friends.  That weekend he was a friend; they played and had a great time.  Up till Zach’s death, he talked about his friend! He talked about his E and his little E!  She came the Saturday before Zach died and I cherished the moments I saw them together, wrapped in her arms, holding hands.  He knew that he wasn’t alone!

We had this while network of truly amazing people and friends while Zach was alive, it was an honor to be involved, talk to and know every one of them.  It has been hard in these 9 ½ months though… I feel like when Zach died I lost a whole world of friends.  I no longer belong; the reason why we initially met has been removed so people hesitate.  Friends don’t want to talk about things so they don’t talk at all, friends don’t want to be a reminder of the world we were part of, or they are in the medical world and we aren’t anymore.  We are all so busy and it causes it harder to get in touch and to do things.  I miss it, I long for it

No comments:

Post a Comment