Thursday, June 6, 2013

8 days...

In 2011 after a ton of struggling and praying we had to make one of the hardest decisions I think that we ever had to make… we went to the hospital to a meeting that had more people than it did chairs.  We talked, teared up and even got mad but at the end of it we were told that yes we can do what we felt was right.  The next day we walked out of the hospital with Zach for the last time.  When I say we walked out, Zachary took my hand and walked with me, it was one of the only times that he ever walked out of the hospital from the TICU to the car, it was a long walk and it tired him out but I think that he knew and he wanted to see and talk to people on the way home.  He did greet lots of people that day, his smile that radiated and his little body which was so cute, he always had people saying hi.  That day he was hugging and smiling back.

The hospital that had become a second home had become hard for us to be at.  The hospital staff that had grown to love and care for Zach had tears of hurt and pain that Zachary was fighting so hard.  They had hoped that we were wrong that what we were doing would be the wrong answer.  In our heart, we knew that we were doing the best thing for our little boy.

We called our family and our close friends and told them… we are coming home and we need to be prepared for this to be the last time.  A party was planned by some wonderful ladies at our church; they came and did it all.  They made sure the house was clean, they did food, and they invited people.  We wanted a birthday party for him.  Zach deserved that birthday party.  A friend commissioned another friend to make a cake to represent and honor Zachary and she did an AMAZING job.  Family pictures were scheduled so we would have one last picture of all of us together.  Family came in to spend the day with us and to be in our home.

We savored our time, I dealt with people not understanding, I was told by a nurse that I was giving up that as a mom I should continue to fight that I hadn’t done enough to help my son.  I promptly told her thank you for all you did but you must leave now and you aren’t welcomed anymore.  We had fought for Zachary; we had done all we could do.  His body was tired, He was tired… He told us “I no go back”  He was done, We wanted to love on him and laugh with him for however long we had  him back at home.

You know I always have a this is why I am writing thought… today it is simply this: Please take each day with your family and love on them.  Tell them that you love them, show them that you love them, and walk with them.  Hug, laugh, kiss and be with them.  Be a good friend, if you say you are going to be there, then be there, not just in a text but in whatever they need you to do.  Don't judge what they are doing instead love and support.  Try to learn to accept the help of friends, you may need it more than you can ever realize.  See I couldn’t have made it through Zachary’s life without people but I can’t make it through today without people either. 

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