A friend is something that most people take for granted… I know that until I had Zach I did. I never thought about what was going on and if I was going to have someone to share it with. Zachary had an illness that robbed his body of his ability to grow, eat and to eventually live, he however touched everyone’s life that met him or saw a picture. Even with an AMAZING spirit Zach didn’t have a friend besides Aden. It wasn’t till towards the end of his life that we realized that because he was in the hospital so much he didn’t know what it was to be a friend or have a friend.
For me though it goes past that though… see we all have cycles of friends let me explain. You have a good friend in high school, you may grow more distant when you go to college but you still talk however, someone else fills that role… you have a child and your friends change, we have a ton of situations that effect our circle of friends. I learned that I had friends, people that said a lot of words, that did things with us and that seemed on the outside to care. However, what I learned was that when Zach started to have issues people started becoming less available to talk and to do things. Then Zach started going to the hospital a lot more and people said “you’re going again” and told me “well I can’t handle him being sick” or “I can’t handle yall going to the hospital again”. Then well we had to make the decision to let Zach go and put him on hospice one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make and I am venturing to say the hardest one we will ever make as parents. I thought that we would have more people come around since we were home and dealing with it at home but that didn’t happen, even more people left, more friends. Sigh, then the heartbreaking event of Zach’s body being no longer to take the struggles of this word happen, he went to heaven to receive his Holy and perfect body. People showed up for a while but after the “newness” wore off so did their offers to talk and to do things. Then we lost the circle of friends that we had because of Zach, they either thought that I would be upset because of their child being sick or they thought that I should only have “normal, typical” parents as friends.
So why am I writing about this? Simply because I have learned some things about friends, not only things about the friends that I have but the type of friend that I want to be!
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that you gain more than that one person you gain the family that surrounds that person. Mothers, Fathers, Aunts, Children just to name a few. They will speak their minds, hold your hands, tell you to call doctors and well tell you that you are beautiful!
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that they are willing to say their heart even if it might hurt you. They tell you to get over it, to whine but then to put it up on the shelf. They tell you need to redo your hair or get a new outfit.
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that they are willing to change their lifestyle to help you change yours. They are willing to help you make lifestyle changes because you have to even though that means that it effects what they get to eat, drink and do
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that they willing to hold your hand and walk through a situation even if they have not a clue of what to do because they only want the best for you. They are willing to pray for doctors appointments, hold your hand, encourage you and even go with you when you need support.
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that they are willing to do something that they might not like to help you through a rough time.
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that they are willing to have the same emotions that you have. When you are mad, sad, aggravated, hurt, happy or a mixture of them all, they experience them with you! Willing to cry tears because the only thing they can to is to hold you while you totally lose it
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that it doesn’t matter what time you call or text they will listen. This isn’t just limited to them but to the family that you gain as well.
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that you learn to trust them with all of the silly and embarrassing things. That includes the questions that you are too embarrassed to ask anyone!
· I have learned that when you have TRUE friends BEST friends that they are willing to talk to you or text you into the early mornings just to make sure that you do fall asleep and that you know the dreams that keep you awake don’t make you who you are.
See I know that I want to be a better friend; I want to be the one that walks in when they rest of the world walks out. I want to be the friend that gets asks embarrassing personal questions to because I am trusted that much! I want to be the one that is called on no matter what is going on.
Do you? Can you say that you are that friend? Can you say that you will stick around no matter what?