I have been absent from
typing simply because life got busy.
Things got hectic and well I thought maybe life was better without my
few words that I tried to put into a logical sense for the world to read. Then I was looking at something and I found
pictures from the blog, they didn’t have words with them, they simply were the
pictures and my heart started doing all sorts of things. I was happy, sad, touched, hurt… well everything. Pictures that I miss because they are of a
smiling boy, well in many cases of smiles boys.
My life…. My boys!
Life has changed: I have an
amazing husband who now has his B.B.A, his Masters, and his C.P.A license, I
have a son who just turned 9, who now can read and hold conversations and is
amazingly awesome. I know I am biased and that is okay. I am now working and have a classroom of 21
new little ones (of chickadees and muchkins). I have a family who walks the world for us and
that I know we are taken care of and I have a best friend who I couldn’t
imagine life without and who helps me more than anyone knows. Yet on top of this I have a son who was
blessed to go to Heaven. I know he is
there, my best friend while she never met him knows that he is there and helps
me know that it is okay to hurt and even more okay to be happy. Yes, life moves on! Life moves on even for
me.
Sometimes I still feel like
time is stopped only for me, that the pain is so real and so painful that I can’t
breathe without feeling like I am going to have my chest shatter. Sometimes I still get mad at people who seem
to think cancer is the only way to die or that certain things are better/worse
to die of. However, I can see that life
moves. Good happens, God’s grace is evident
I won’t sit here and pretend that I don’t
miss people or that everything is always good.
However, I can tell you that I am stronger, that I will be always be
moving towards touching as many lives as I can.
I strive to let others know that they are not alone and that no matter
what they are never in it by themselves.
Its okay to hurt to be mad to want it to change but it is okay to
celebrate birthdays and to see good in bad situations.
I will look at the pictures
and I will see hope, I will see joy and I will see love!
