A number of years ago I was getting done with Church and I
was delighted to be pregnant and having a good time, considering the
complications that I had during that time being at church, dancing with Aden and
hearing what God was doing with our youth was amazing. We left church and went to have Mexican, one
of my major yummy foods that I loved while pregnant, all I remember is having
salsa and chips and being asked by the waiter if I wanted a straw for the salsa
because I was basically drinking it.
It was month end for my husband, who at the time was an
accountant for a national restaurant chain, and I knew that week was his week
that he had to be at work. We joked
about it and said if I could keep out of the hospital till the 4th
that we could have fireworks and be okay with delivering our second child. Aden went to bed and Adam went to bed and I
stayed up watching TV, I couldn’t get comfortable, midnight hit and I still
couldn’t get comfortable, I tell myself that if I was still hurting at 2am that
I would wake Adam up. I got in the tub
and sat there trying to think of what we could do for the 4th that
would be inside because the heat was unbearable, thinking that one of my
friends had her daughter on the 4th, thinking that I have two close
friends whose birthdays are the 6th and 9th. I wasn’t comfortable but when 2am rolled
around, I told myself that IF I could wake up Adam by simply saying his name
that I would go to the hospital. I
whispered “Adam” and he woke up instantly.
I told him that we needed to go to the hospital and that we needed to
call the doctor. It wasn’t a debate, I
fought having to call every time I hated being high risk and having
complications I hated calling but that night I knew we needed to go and to
call. They did tell us to go and we
went.
We got there and the nurse was the one that did the last
couple of my visits and decided because they checked me for the UTI or
dehydration that she would check me to make sure that I wasn’t in labor. When she checked she found out that I was 9cm
dilated and that she could feel the baby’s head. The midwife was called, Adam’s mom was called
and I went down to a room. For not sleeping
in over 24 hours, I had no idea that I was in labor or why I didn’t know. Adam’s mom went to get batteries; she was
gone less than 15 mins. In those 15 mins
the midwife sat down on the bed with me and I had my son Zachary Eli Moody born
July 2, 2007
I didn’t know that day that my life would be changed so much,
it would be a day that I think of often… what if I had known I was in labor?
Would he have made it? We found out at his delivery that his cord was wrapped around
his neck twice and then knotted. If I
had known and gone in to the hospital earlier they would have stopped my labor
and then there is a huge chance Zachary would have never made it.
Zachary should be turning 6 years old this year. I wonder what he would be into, how tall he
would be, how much he would weigh, if he would still have his favorite color be
brown, if he would be talking. I know
that I would still get lost in his smile! I sit here and I wonder if they throw birthday
parties in Heaven or if every day is such an amazing experience that it is no
longer needed. I wonder if Zachary is in
charge of cupcakes and if he is watching butterflies. I wonder if he is being hugged by my mother
and if she is able to tell him how much I love him or if Zachary is able to
tell my mom how much I love her and missed her.
I wonder what would we have gotten him for his birthday and would he
have been able to eat?
I will choose today to remember that I have two boys.
Cupcakes, butterflies, and Smiles all mean more now because
of you Zachary, I miss you more than I the air I breathe and more than people
understand. Your daddy misses Daddy Time
(I miss listening to yall giggle and talk) and holding you in his arms. Your brother misses sharing a room with you. Your MaMaw misses you being in her arms. Your Papaw missing being able to walk with
you. We all miss you, I miss sharing you
with the world, miss letting you mean those in my life that mean so much to
us.
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