Dec Already

So it is December 2nd already... I can't believe how fast time is flying. I also can't believe the number of phone calls and emails and shout-outs that are asking for ideas for the boys. There are people that asking for small ideas, money ideas, and gift ideas so I am going to post here and on caringbridge. I don't know who reads what but I don't want to send a mass email out because we aren't looking for anything in particular, this is one of those posts that if you were asking it is for you.

Ideas for Aden:
-DVDs- he loves backyardgins, superheros, scooby, etc. We haven't bought new DVDs in a while so he doesn't have many new releases.
-sports
-cars
-legos
-Days out (Monkey Joes, ChuckeCheese, etc)
-twin bedding
Please NO spongebob though

Ideas for Zach:
-Stickers- he loves loves loves loves stickers. This is prob his number one thing that he does
-paper
-Art stuff
-color wonder things
-sleepers (18 months to 2T), preferable those that have buttons or snap at the legs, so we can get the tube in and out.
-pillow cases and crib sheets

Money Ideas (just for those that asked)
-Aden's school tuition
-cleaning services

Time Ideas
-Taking Aden to the playground (Zach can't go)
-Taking Aden to the movies (again Zach can't go)
-Watching Zach so we can do things with Aden
-Preparing meals or gift cards so we can not worry about dinner and have that time together.

Household things:
-a new vacuum (one that has a heppa filter in it)
-storage or something to organize the toy room
-Storage container or file folder things for Zach's artwork

I am sure there are million of other ideas but this is what I came up with, I will update it as the month goes on.

Thankful for Family

So I had an appt today and it made me stop and realize that I am very blessed to have a great network of family and friends to help me/us with Zach. People that do care about Zach and Aden and have helped us beyond what I could ever thank them for. I am so delighted to know that I am not on this journey alone and that no matter what happens we have AWESOME people here with us.

1st, I need to say that I have AWESOME in laws, today you hear so many bad stories about in laws but truthfully I am blessed with the best in laws ever. I am proud to call them mom and dad. I love them both so much and they have walked the world for us and cont to do so. They love the boys so much and have been a huge help with both of them.... Aden loves being over there. I could never say say how much they have done for us. They are wonderful. They kept the boys for me so I could go out on Black Friday.

2nd, we have awesome Church family.... they have stepped up so much helping me with Aden, helping with cleaning supplies and with stickers. The have helped with smiles and hugs and with the prayers. I am so sure that there are things that I have missed but I am so honored to have them as part of my Christian Family.

Sigh

well, things aren't easy.
WOW where to start, 1st I am so sorry that I haven't updated this often, I have been doing the caringbridge cause it has been a little easier but I wanted to write here and add some prayer request on the bottom of this post/update.

So we have been in and out of the hospital lately... we were in the hospital for 13 days out at home for 8 and now have been in patient for 10 days. This trip has been hard and we don't know what all is going. This might all be part of his MITO and it might be things that we have to learn how to handle and move on.

One of the hardest things about this is being separated.... I miss my husband, I miss my son, I miss tucking him in at night and having dinner with them. I keep telling myself that this is just for a season.

I used to think that offering to help was enough but I am slowly realizing, actually I really know that sometimes you just have to step up and do something. Something that is on my mind, It was overheard tonight that "Adam and Jen have so many people that want to do things but they aren't willing to tell them what to do" Oh my, Can I vent on this for a moment? Have you thought about what we are going through and what is happening.. our family has been ripped apart, half at home and half at the hospital. We have always been together for meals and for bed times and now it doesn't happen that way. We don't know talents or abilities or what you might be willing to actually do. This frustrates me... if you know of something, or what to do something, please just do it. I have been so wrapped up in Zach's care that I forgot to eat today, if I forget to eat what makes you think that I know what to tell you to do for us. Please Please please just do whatever your heart leads, whatever God wants you to do.

a new day

Nothing is ever easy I keep saying…

Daddy and Aden praying together at Flag time during AWANA!

Zach getting ready for his G-J button Change at Egleston

However there are nights like last night that just reminds me that God is certainly with us. Aden came in from his wonderful day and didn’t want to eat, watch TV or anything, all he wanted to do was go to bed, I did something that I never do, I let him have a cup of Kool-Aid and go to bed. So Adam, Zach and I sat down for dinner. Zach did so well; he ate oatmeal, soup, and peanut butter crackers. He wanted to be with daddy so daddy and Zach had a great family time. Oh Aden slept till 6:39a this morning, he was tired. I am so glad that he rested because today he has school.

We are wondering if some of his pain and all… his screaming and frustration has to do with the old tube, like something was wrong with it. Cause even though he is still screaming and frustrated it is so much better now that he had the new tube, so as much as I didn’t want to put him in anesthesia again is now that I know that he NEEDED his tube to be changed. Thank God they didn’t let him wait the two weeks. I would have been without my mind, because I would have lost it!

Our family minus Aden....dressed up for AWANAs

In Sunday school we are learning that God doesn’t belong in a box, there isn’t a box that is big enough for me to put him in. One of the verses that I found it one that I now love and that I hold dear, it makes me realize even more that God knows what it is like to be a mom and He knows that sometimes moms (and others too) need extra encouragement and that we need to know that it is all going to be okay. I don’t mean that it will all be perfect, I mean can you imagine how boring life would be if nothing ever went wrong. However, what I do mean is that there is nothing that God can’t do and there is nothing that too much for Him (which is the tie in to the second verse). The two verses that I we have been focusing on are Isaiah 40:11 and Jeremiah 32:17. God carries us close to his heart and He leads us. It is nice to know that God holds me and that He gathers me and loves me so much that He knows that I am an emotional person that needs the love, hugs, and confirmation that I am not alone in all of the things that we are going though. There is nothing to Hard for God…. why am I worried about all the things of this world because He can do it ALL.

Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd:

He gathers the lambs in his arms

and carries them close to his heart;

he gently leads those that have young.

Jeremiah 32:17
Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.

One more MAJOR THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I have a person that I need to say THANK YOU too, a person that God placed in our life for one purpose, supposedly the one purpose. This person has stepped out of that role and into many many many more, sometimes I struggle with it because I know that God has been AWESOME by placing her with Zach and in return with me. She is one that I have been able to talk to, pray with, cry and ask questions that I would have asked my mom if she was here, she has always answered them the best that she could and listened.

This is for you... I will not say your name here but you know who you are!

• Thank you for coming and playing with Zach, bringing markers and a coloring book for him and the movies, Aden loves Jonah as well.
• Thank you for the game that was brought to Aden, we played it downstairs while we were at the hospital and the wonderful thoughts that were said to me.
• Thank you for being one of the only people that I have been able to cry to and vent to about all of the emotions and feeling that I have.
• Thank you for calling us and checking on us and for calling and asking questions for me.
• Thank you for praying with usThank you for praying for us
• Thank you for all of the things that you have done
• Thank you for being concerned about us and about me!
• Thank you for the love that you have shown when you didn't have to.
• Thank you for saying the hard things, making the hard suggestions even when you knew that it would hurt and that my heart would crumble

So we are HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has been forever and I am so sorry.

After 13 days in the hospital Zach is at home, still having a few issues but we are home. He isn't able to stand really and isn't able to walk at all, he is still so weak, he is barely able to crawl and crawling with the pump is even harder. He ate dinner last night and some crackers this morning. We are all delighted to be home, ALL of us are delighted!

So now that I am home I want to say THANK YOU to all... I am not going to say names because I didn't ask permission but you will know who you are.

THANK YOU:
-- to all of yall who called me and checked in by phone.
-- to those that let me call you past 9pm so I didn't use my mins on my cell phone
-- to those who brought food
-- to the one that brought me some diet coke and food at 1:40am, even though she didn't have makeup on or know where she was going. I will never forget it.
-- to those that immed me
-- to those that left messages on caringbridge and facebook-- to those that were willing to keep Aden
-- to the one that took Aden to the playground, to school, and wherever else
-- to the one that allowed me to cry over the phone to them, even though they didn't understand -- to the ones that came and saw Zach and played with him
-- to those that brought stickers, markers and other art supplies to Zach

I know that there are a thousand more but those are the ones that came up... so now that we are home pray for the whole SSI thing, we were denied because of income so we have to do the KAtie Beckett/deeming waiver, man.... that is some paperwork and it all has to be signed by a doctor of course. PRAYING I can emotionally hold it together!

4, already?

So Tomorrow, October 1st, is Aden’s 4th Birthday. I am not sure how that has happened. I mean it seems like just yesterday that he was born and that he was a little baby wearing 0-3 month clothes and size 1 diapers. Now he is a BIG BOY. He is 41 inches tall and 30 pounds; he is wearing 4s in pants (blue jeans) and 4t/5t and X-Small shirts and big boy undies. I can’t believe that he all of a sudden got to be so big.

He is in preschool and loves it; he still 4 weeks into it wants to live there and asks every morning if we are going to school and/or if we are going to church. He loves having friends and being involved with other children his age. He has also started Cubbies in the AWANA program. He is loving learning his verses and getting to learn the sign language for all of his verses. I stand in AWE of how God works.

Every day when I pick him up he crawls into the van, kisses Zach and then goes to his seat. Even with all that Zach causes him to change and be flexible he loves him. Aden is best educator that I have ever met. He is able to tell others that his brother has a tube and that he gets tired easily and that he can’t have milk or any milk proteins. He is able to tell that he can’t have apples or watermelon and that you have to check the ingredients before he will take it and eat it. He has found sports… he loves to watch basketball and football and loves to watch it with daddy. He gets excited and cheers on the teams (He even yells at TV like Daddy). We have gotten to go to several Falcon games as well, he loves going to the game although his attention isn’t that long and with all the noise he wants to “go home and watch the game” He says that he wants to grow up and be a judge (to help say what is right and wrong) and play football, sounds like a wonderful goal!

My little boy is 4, How did that happen???